Loss of Innocence

Like many of you, I am having a really hard time comprehending all that occurred yesterday. I am just devastated by the events that took place and for all the families affected directly. I am also so acutely aware of the far reaching affects of such an event. As a teacher and a mom, 900 miles away from what happened, my view of the world changed in the blink of an eye. As it did in the eyes of many.

 A loss of innocence.

That's the only way I can describe it, and it was screaming so blaringly loud at me as I finished off my Friday afternoon at school after hearing the news.  Like all school districts, mine works hard to ensure the safety of all students. Yesterday afternoon, the school I have worked in for the past 8 years looked different to me. Less familiar somehow. I suddenly didn't feel so safe there anymore. I started to think about how easily this could have been our school.

A loss of innocence.

I watched my students, most of whom had no idea what happened. They were laughing, singing, and talking with their friends as we went through class today. I felt a little jealous that they didn't know, that they could continue on for just a little longer without another reminder of the fragility of life.  Knowing, when they got to their phones, their computer, their TV, that images of today might forever change that.

 I am grateful that my kids are too young to talk about this topic with and sad for all the parents who are going to have to have this difficult conversation. Some kids will not understand the magnitude of this. But I know that there are a lot of kids who will now feel unsafe at school. Especially the elementary kids who are old enough to hear about this, but too young to even begin to comprehend what they are seeing and hearing.

A loss of innocence.

I pick up my kids from school today with a new perspective. As I walk up the stairs I can't help but be reminded that some of the kids killed were my son's age in a classroom just like his. It could have been their school. I wonder what the school will change to ensure my children's safety, knowing that there is no way to guarantee that. I walk into my son's room and he is quietly working on a project. All is well. I can't help but breathe a sigh of relief as I give him a huge hug and a kiss with tears in my eyes that he could never understand. My daughter runs to me when I get to her room and I am reminded of her wide eyed innocence and wish I could protect her from the world forever. Drop offs and pick ups will never be the same.

A loss of innocence.

Schools all through the country will now revamp their security procedures. Lock down drills will have new meaning. Discussions of safety, parenting and gun control will take center stage. Parents everywhere will work hard to not take one second with their kids for granted. Hopefully, our schools will become safer and this will never happen again.

And then...

Life will go on as it always has for those indirectly affected. As it did after tragedies like Columbine, 9-11, Virginia Tech, and the Aurora theatre shooting. Life will go on, but the memories of yesterday's events and the lives lost will forever be etched in our memories.

Will we ever get that little piece of innocence back?

Photo Credit

Dedicated to all those affected by the tragic shooting in Newtown, Connecticut.
My thoughts and prayers are with all the families and the community.




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