Who Were You?

I have been reading a book called Fire Starter Sessions by Danielle LaPorte (highly recommend by the way). I came upon a very important question and it just stopped me in my tracks:

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"Can you remember who you were, before the world told you who you should be?"

Can you remember? Go ahead, ponder... Take as long as you need.

For many, that's a loaded question. For me, as well.

And the answer for a very long time was sadly, No, not really. 

But luckily, this past year I have been on a journey of remembering who I really am (I can't help but smile as I type that). So the answer is shifting.

 Sure, I have seen sparks of the real me (my true essence) over the years, but as I have discovered on my long and amazing journey in 2102, I somehow became a mixture of what the world actually wanted me to be and what I thought the world wanted me to be. Taken over by all the should's and the have to's,  the need to be's, and the good enough's, my true self kind of got lost along the way. Until recently, I almost didn't recognize myself from even 7 years ago (got married, had 3 kids). While I wouldn't trade the last 7 years for anything because some absolutely amazing things happened during them (for which I am so grateful), I do recognize that this was the one of the times I struggled the most with who I was supposed to be.

For most of us (myself included), this starts when we are very young. We are constantly getting messages from our parents, family, friends and teachers about how we should look, act, talk, etc. Some of these messages are verbal and some are never spoken but the message is heard loud and clear. I can already see it in my five year old as he is learning about the world.

Working in a middle school, I also see first hand how strong the desire to fit in can be. I remember it from when I was in school too. They are trying to meet the expectations of their parents, teachers and  coaches. Then there is the strong desire to fit in with their peers. Conversations with my students remind me that middle school is a tough time and that kids can be just brutal to each other. Sadly, I see many students change who they are and how they behave and act because they think it is the right thing to do. Kids who I thought I really knew in 6th grade I sometimes can't even recognize as 8th graders.  Maybe it doesn't have to be that way. Maybe losing yourself does not have to be a part of growing up.   One day, I hope to go into schools and help empower kids (especially girls) to be who they really are.

As for me, this past year has been a year of remembering, healing and finding my voice. Each step I take back to my true self fuels my passion for life. With each step, I naturally become the parent, wife, friend, coach, etc. that I was meant to be. My life is no longer scripted by what the world thinks I  should be or how I think the world wants me to be. And I know I can never go back. I am too in love with this journey.

So now my friends, I pass the talking stick on to you:

"Can you remember who you were, before the world told you who you should be?" 

Or

Have you been on a journey similar to my own? 

If you feel moved to, please comment below (where it says post a comment). I'd love to hear about it!


In Wellness,



Wellness is made of the small choices we make everyday. What have you done today to embrace wellness?

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